More than a walk: Local men building friendships and learning from each other

When Ed King first joined The Man Walk in Young, he did not know who would be there or what to expect. The group happened to meet just three doors down from his workplace, the timing fitted before the start of his day and he decided there was little reason not to give it a try. “I thought, ‘You know what, this is something I should be able to fit in before work, so why not give it a go?’” Ed said. “I wasn’t really sure what it was all going to be about. I had no idea how many people would be there or who they would be.” Ed is now one of about half a dozen men regularly joining the Wednesday morning walk, and the connections forming between them are beginning to extend beyond the weekly walk. The group has discussed getting together for fishing and camping, while shared interests such as outdoor cooking and sitting around a bonfire are opening the door to future shared social activities. For Ed, that is one of the clearest signs that The Man Walk is becoming more than an exercise group. “The main thing is that it is a different group of guys to those I would normally run into,” he said. “We’re not all into the same things, so we probably wouldn’t have met otherwise.” The Man Walk – Young has now launched an additional Saturday morning walk, giving more local men an opportunity to join the growing group. Young coordinator Clyde Kennedy said the 6.30am Wednesday start was difficult for some people, prompting the introduction of a later weekend option. The Saturday group meets at Young Railway Station at 7.30am and follows a different route around town. Ed said the weekend walk had a more relaxed feel because participants were not rushing away to start work. “There is always time for a coffee,” he said. “It is a bit more relaxed on Saturday, and if we want to chat longer afterwards, we can.” Those conversations do not follow any set format. The men talk about how their week has gone, things they have enjoyed, challenges they may be facing and the ordinary ups and downs of life. There is no expectation that anyone must discuss something serious or deeply personal. “Sometimes it is just checking in on each other,” Ed said. “It is all fairly lighthearted, but it is good to have that general chat.” He said daily responsibilities could make it easy for men’s identities and conversations to become dominated by their employment. “You get so busy in your day-to-day life that what your job is tends to become who you are,” he said. “It has been really good to hang out with people who aren’t necessarily from the same work circle." “You can talk about real-life stuff, music or whatever else comes up. It opens the door to different conversations.” The Young group includes men from different generations and at different stages of life. Some are raising children, some have never had children, some have grandchildren and others have experience caring for ageing parents. Ed, who is 43, said listening to those experiences had shown him the value of role models at every age. Two of the walkers had shared experiences of supporting or caring for their mothers, giving Ed an insight into a stage of life he has not yet faced himself. “Seeing how that next stage of life looks, and some of the challenges involved, is preparing me for something I otherwise may not be prepared for,” he said. “I don’t live with my mum and I left home a long time ago, so who do you learn that stuff from otherwise?” His answer is increasingly found among the men walking beside him. “The guys who have been there and done that can give us tips, and vice versa, about different stages of life,” Ed said. “We’re never too old to learn new things.” That exchange of experience is part of what makes the group valuable. It is not formal counselling and participants are not expected to arrive with a problem to solve. Instead, it gives local men a regular place to meet people outside their usual circles, enjoy some exercise, talk freely and gradually build friendships. Ed said any man curious about the group could attend without committing to every walk. “Just give it a go,” he said. “You can come and go as you please. “If you’re sitting on the fence, just meet us at the cafe for a coffee. You can see who is there, have a chat and decide from there.” For men hesitant about arriving alone, Ed said the group was easygoing, welcoming and without pressure. The first step could be as simple as a walk and a coffee. But, as the Young group is discovering, it may lead to friendships, new experiences and conversations that would otherwise never have happened. The Man Walk – Young takes place on Saturdays at 7.30am, meeting at Young Railway Station The walk also takes place on Wednesdays at 6.30am meeting at Cafe 196, in the corner of Nasmyth and Lynch streets, Young.